The Hidden Truth About Hiring: Why Some Employees Can’t Tell Right from Wrong

When I was a kid, “right” and “wrong” weren’t taught to me the way most people think. I’m not talking about the simple stuff like stealing or lying, I’m talking about the deep, principle-driven sense of right and wrong that guides you when the answer isn’t obvious. 

In my house, right and wrong were whatever kept the peace, avoided punishment, or eased the authority figure in the room. If my dad was touchy because of his affair, right meant don’t bring it up. If my mom’s temper was running hot, right meant don’t trigger it.

It didn’t matter what the actual truth was emotions decided the rules. That does something to you. It teaches you to scan the room for moods instead of facts. It teaches you survival over integrity. And it robs you of the reps you need to build your own moral compass.

It took me years and a lot of work to unlearn that. And it wasn’t until I was leading teams that I realized… some employees are still living by those old rules. They don’t even know it. And it affects every decision they make.

Why Good People Miss the Mark on Right and Wrong

We like to believe that when we hire adults, we’re also hiring a fully-formed moral compass. But a compass can be bent by a lot of things like upbringing, past workplaces, and survival habits. And if you don’t understand those influences, you’ll misread their behavior.

Here are some of the hidden reasons employees struggle to distinguish right from wrong at work:

1. Conditioned to Please, Not to Lead

These employees grew up believing their safety depended on pleasing whoever was in charge. They’ll say yes, keep the boss happy, and avoid hard truths even if it means doing the wrong thing.

2. Compliance Confusion

If it’s not in the handbook, it must be fine. They follow the letter of the rule, not the spirit, and look for loopholes they can justify.

3. Relationships Over Principles

Some employees will overlook or excuse misconduct not because they can’t see it, but because of what’s at stake for them. 
It might be fear of retaliation or losing their standing. It might be a quid pro quo, “I’ll cover for you, you’ll cover for me.” Sometimes it’s political survival in a workplace where alliances matter more than integrity. Other times, it’s avoiding a fight with someone powerful or well-liked. 
In each case, the relationship becomes the shield, and fairness takes a back seat.

4. Never Taught Ethical Reasoning

If you’ve never been taught to weigh competing values like honesty vs. confidentiality, or loyalty vs. compliance, you freeze or make a snap call that feels safest.

5. Cultural Blind Spots

If their last company normalized cutting corners, they’ll treat those shortcuts as standard practice.

6. Results Over Process

When past leaders only cared about numbers, they learned that how you win doesn’t matter, just that you win.

7. Self-Justification

They can spot unethical behavior in others, but reframe their own as “necessary” or “no big deal.”

8. Fear of Speaking Up

Even when they see a wrong, fear of retaliation or conflict keeps them quiet. Over time, silence becomes complicity.

9. The Contrary Employee

Not everyone survives by pleasing. Some survive by pushing back. This employee learned early that the way to be respected, left alone, or avoid punishment was to be difficult, critical, condescending, or hard to get along with. In some environments, that’s how they kept predators at bay or carved out their space. But in your business, it can mean they use confrontation to dodge accountability, intimidate peers, and bend the rules to their advantage. People stop challenging them, not because they’re right, but because they don’t want the fight.

10. The Rebel Without a Pause

Some employees see compliance itself as a loss. To them, following the rules means giving up power, independence, or self-respect. This mindset often comes from growing up, or working, in environments where rules were a weapon used to control, punish, or limit them. Over time, they decided: “If I follow, I lose.” So, they resist even reasonable guidelines, not because they’re bad at their job, but because agreeing feels like surrender. In your business, that can mean subtle sabotage, foot-dragging, or intentionally breaking policy just to prove they can.

The Cost of an Ethics Gap

When right and wrong are fuzzy, you pay for it in many ways:

•            Trust breaks down.

•            A shadow culture forms; the real rules everyone follows aren’t the ones in the handbook.

•            Good people leave because they can’t stand the inconsistency.

•            You spend more time managing messes than building momentum.

Closing the Gap as a Leader

You can’t just “hope” people know what’s right. You have to teach it, model it, and make it safe to live it. Here are a few ways leaders can close the gap:

1.         Anchor to Values, Not Just Rules: Explain the “why” so they see the principle behind the policy.

2.         Model It Relentlessly: People copy what they see more than what they hear.

3.         Reward the Process, Not Just the Outcome: Celebrate doing the right thing even when it costs.

4.         Teach Decision Filters, Give them simple tools: Is it honest? Is it fair? Does it align with our values?

5.         Make Speaking Up Safe: Protect those who raise hard truths, even when it’s uncomfortable.

The Takeaway

I had to rebuild my own compass as an adult. Some of your employees are still operating without one or with one that’s been bent by years of survival.

You can’t just hire for skills and hope ethics come with the package. You have to lead people into clarity, even if they’ve never had it before.

Because when your team knows the difference between what’s easy and what’s right, and they have the courage to choose right, you get more than performance. You get trust, momentum, and a culture you can be proud of.