Remove the Meaning (That Was Never There)

I’ve started to realize that most of the time, I’m not reacting to what’s actually happening, I’m reacting to the meaning I’ve attached to what’s happening.

And that meaning usually is not in the task. It’s not in the business. 
It’s something I dragged in with me.

The Walkway That Turned Into a Mirror

The other day, I was out front, finishing up a project I’d been working on for weeks, a new paver walkway that connects our parking pad to the front door.

Fifty feet of stone. Meant to keep our guests from walking through wet grass and mud. Functional. Clean. Something simple that would make life easier for the people we welcome into our home.

I was proud of it at first. The lines were clean. I had recycled old pavers and I had moved a lot of dirt and laid every paver with care. But as I started putting the finishing touches on the landscaping, I noticed a few imperfections. Some of the pavers weren’t exactly aligned. Some stones at the end sat just a little high. The whole path wasn’t perfectly straight.

Suddenly, I wasn’t seeing a thoughtful walkway anymore.
I was seeing a reflection of me.

“What will people think when they see this?”
“Will they notice the flaws?”
“Will they think I don’t know what I’m doing?”
“Will they think less of me?”

That’s when it hit me:
I had attached a meaning to the task that was never supposed to be there.

The work was meant to serve others. But I made it about proving something about myself. About being enough. Being impressive. Being flawless.

And just like that, the joy was gone.

Fortunately, That moment wasn’t lost on me. I group I mentor was having a related discussion about our motivation, healthy and unhealthy, and where they come from and how they affect us. So that feeling stuck with me because it wasn’t just about pavers. It was a reminder of how often I let the meaning I attach to something hijack the actual purpose of the work. That walkway wasn’t a character test. It wasn’t a performance review. It was just… a walkway. It was meant to solve a problem, make life easier, and create a little beauty.

And yet, I let old stories creep in and turn it into a statement about my worth.

That’s when I remembered:

The task itself is neutral. The work is just the work.

But when we carry meaning that was never meant to be there - expectation, shame, the need to prove something - we stop doing the work for the sake of the work.

And that’s where this blog really begins…

It has taken me a long time to realize that the work is just the work.
 But I bring my own story into it. And unfortunately, that story carries a lot of unnecessarily heavy weight. I say to myself, “If I don’t do this perfectly, I’m not good enough.” 
“If I don’t crush this project, they’ll see I’m a fraud.”
 “If I don’t outwork everyone, I won’t matter.” Does this Sound familiar to you as well?

Where does that come from?

A lot of it starts early—childhood, parents, teachers, coaches. Some of it is just baked into our culture. And it’s not always something anyone said out loud. You just felt it. In your chest. In your gut. In the way you flinched when you fell short.

Eventually, that feeling became the norm. So much so that you stopped noticing it. You just assumed it was how things were.

Maybe love and praise only came when you achieved something big.
Maybe your worth got tangled up in performance.
Maybe you learned that being excellent was the only way to stay safe or get noticed.

Or maybe it came from something more personal, something harder to name. A quiet trauma. The residue of being bullied or left out. The scars we carry, even if we don't talk about them much.

Whatever the source, it matters. It shaped us. And we deserve to give ourselves a little grace for having carried that weight.

But here’s the thing: You’re not that kid anymore.

You’re here now building a business, leading a team, making real decisions.
But if you're not careful, you might still be running the same old program underneath it all.

In Business, That Old Meaning Shows Up Like This:

•            Overpreparing for a presentation: not to serve, but to avoid being judged.

•            Overbuilding your product: not because the market needs it, but because you’re afraid you’re not enough.

•            Micromanaging your team: not because they’re failing, but because you’re terrified of what failure would say about you.

I’ve done it. I still catch myself doing it. It’s not always obvious. Sometimes it looks like hard work, discipline, or care. But underneath, there’s pressure, stress, and a whole lot of Self-doubt – all in disguise. Sometimes its disguised as judgement or confidence, withdrawal, or in my case it shows up like drive, showing you that I am moving fast because I have to get important things done.

So What Do We Do?

Here are a few things we can do with those old stories start playing in your heads.

1. Name the Meaning

Pause. Ask yourself: “What am I making this mean about me?”

Is it:

•            “If I fail, I’m a failure.”

•            “If they’re upset, I’m not a good leader.”

•            “If I don’t get this right, I’ll be rejected or unlovable.”

Know that brutal honesty opens the door to freedom.

2. Remove the Meaning

Say it out loud if you have to: “This is just a task. It’s not a test of my worth.”

It doesn’t make you lazy. It makes you free. 
Free to be creative. Focused. Present. Effective.

3. Reattach on Purpose

Ask yourself: “What do I want this to mean?”

Maybe:

•            “This is a way to learn.”

•            “This is a way to serve.”

•            “This is practice, not performance.”

Now you’re choosing meaning. Not carrying old baggage.

A Few Real-World Reframes I Keep Handy:

•            “I don’t have to be the best. I just have to be present.”

•            “I’m not here to prove anything. I’m here to build something.”

•            “This work doesn’t reflect my worth - it expresses my values.”

•            “I am choosing progress over perfection.”

Final Thought

If you’ve ever found yourself exhausted or anxious, even while doing the right things, it might not be the task that’s the problem. It might be the meaning you’re dragging into it.

This shows up all the time in the businesses I work with. People chase revenue, launch new products, or stay stuck in the grind not because it’s aligned, but because they’re trying to fix some invisible sense of not being enough. I’ve done it too. And I’ve learned this:
When you remove the false meaning, the real mission gets clearer.

If this hits home, and you want to talk more about how this shows up in business- and how to shift it using real tools and strategies we teach - I’m in.

Let’s stop building from pressure. 
And start building from presence.