Processes vs. Outcome: Where to focus
For most of my life, I’ve been a process guy. I like rhythm, structure, cause and effect. My daily early morning walking the Greenways near my house has been one of those steady processes for many, many years. I love it! The rhythm of my steps, the way my mind settles, the feel of the air on my skin. It keeps me healthy, clears my head, and burns fat.
But here’s the truth: sometimes I twist that same process into punishment. If I eat too much the day before or for breakfast, I turn the walk into a penance. Suddenly it’s not joy, it’s guilt. Same process, different meaning.
That’s where I started wrestling with this whole idea of process vs. outcome. People say, “Don’t focus on the results, just focus on the process.” But if we’re honest, that’s not how achievers are wired. We don’t just do things for fun, we do them because we want results. If I walk, of course I want health. If I work, of course I want money. If I train, of course I want growth.
So what’s the truth here? Do we separate process from outcome, or do we integrate them?
The Comfort Trap
Here’s what I’ve noticed: most of us fool ourselves into thinking the process we’re comfortable with is the one that will deliver results. We cling to the way we’ve always done it because it feels safe.
Safe physically.
Safe mentally.
Safe emotionally.
Safe socially.
If I’ve been doing a process for years, even if it’s not producing the results I want, I still label it as “safe.” That’s why I keep doing it. The danger is this: safe and familiar aren’t the same thing as effective.
Why Proven Processes Feel Unsafe
When somebody shows us the proven process, the one that actually delivers results, it almost always feels foreign. It challenges our ego. It makes us feel awkward, exposed, maybe even stupid.
And our nervous system doesn’t like that. To our body, unfamiliar equals unsafe. So we run back to what feels comfortable, even if it doesn’t actually work. That’s why we can “know better” and still resist. It’s not that our goals are too high. It’s that the real process collides with our old conditioning.
Agreement and Standards
So how do you break the loop? I’ve found there are two levers:
Daily Agreement
Every day, I have to consciously choose: “I will buy into this proven process, even if it feels uncomfortable.”Raising Standards
At some point, it’s not just about choosing daily. It’s about identity. “I am a person who does what works, not just what feels safe.”
But here’s the part most people miss: raising standards doesn’t just mean toughing it out. It means learning the new skills that make the new process safe. I learned that in martial arts.
For example, socially, we all use different tools to feel safe, comfortable or protect ourselves. Some use jokes, some determination, some empathy, and some use performance, little moves that help us feel secure in whatever process we’re in. But when you step into a new process, those old safety tools don’t always work anymore. You have to go slow enough, safe enough, and intentional enough to learn new tools.
Whenever I’m teaching martial arts to a new student, this truth shows up fast. The moment I introduce a new move, or change the way they’ve always done something to a more effective method, the first words I usually hear are, “This feels weird… this feels uncomfortable.” And they’re right. Their body isn’t used to moving that way. Or suddenly they feel more exposed, their guard is open, their balance vulnerable.
At first, it can feel terrifying. But if they stay with it long enough, the new way not only becomes more comfortable, it also becomes more effective, and ultimately safer. Why? Because along the way they learn the new skills that protect that position. And once they master those, the move doesn’t just feel safe, it makes them a far more effective fighter.
Life is the same way. A new process might may you feel awkward and require a whole set of supporting skills you don’t have yet. For me in my new venture its learning things like sales, closing deals, digital marketing, and building a pipeline. Without those, the bigger process feels unsafe, so it has been easy for me to retreat back to what’s familiar. Not because the new process doesn’t work, but because I don’t yet feel protected inside it.
That’s why we abandon proven processes that work for others. We haven’t yet developed the smaller skills that make those processes work for us.
Redefining Safety
Here’s the reframe that changes everything:
Old safety = familiar but ineffective process.
True safety = proven process that feels uncomfortable at first, but actually protects my long-term health, wealth, and growth.
So when I catch myself resisting, I remind myself: “This isn’t unsafe. It’s just unfamiliar. Real safety comes from doing what works.”
The Worth Test
At the end of the day, it comes back to this question: Is the process worth the outcome?
If the answer is yes, lean in. If the answer is no, change the process or change the outcome you’re chasing. Because the real alignment happens when your process and your outcome are integrated, when the work itself feels like an honest expression of who you are, and the results are a byproduct of showing up. That’s not separating process from outcome. That’s making them one.
So the next time you catch yourself clinging to what’s comfortable, ask: Am I holding on because it works, or just because it feels safe? The proven process may feel foreign, but it’s the only road to the results you actually want.